Monday, April 23, 2007

A Proven Way That Women Can Quit Drinking Without AA

A Proven Way That Women Can Quit Drinking Without AA
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) has helped millions of people recover from alcoholism. For many women, however, AA may not be the best choice when it comes to the difficult task of quitting drinking. The main reason it may not be the best choice is this:

AA is based on the philosophy that self-centeredness is the root of alcoholism. In other words, AA's approach is to instill humility and minimize egotism in its members.

While this method may have been appropriate for white males in the 1940's when AA was founded, it does not meet the very different needs of women. Here's why.

- Women who have a problem with alcohol oftentimes suffer from feelings of guilt and low self-esteem.
- Women already judge and berate themselves mercilessly.
- What women need to recover is to develop a sense of competency in themselves and rebuild their feelings of self-worth.
- Quitting drinking requires overcoming dependencies, forgetting the past and planning for the future.

I agree that it is necessary for a woman to have humility in order to accept that she has a drinking problem. But taking humility beyond this first step is actually counter productive for the woman alcoholic.

Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D., founder of the Women for Sobriety Program (WFS), writes that "to accept humility is absolutely the worst thing that could happen to a woman alcoholic." From long experience Jean understood that for women to overcome feelings of helplessness and powerlessness they must have a program that helps them to rebuild their self-image.

The main component of AA's program is spirituality. Specifically, they believe that in order to recover, one must surrender one's will to a higher power.

WFS, on the other hand, does not encourage reliance on a higher power or something outside yourself. Women for Sobriety believes that your power must come from within.

This new, empowering method for women to quit drinking produces concrete results. An interesting study was published in the American Journal of Drug and Alcohol Abuse by L. A. Kaskutas in 1996.

What the study found was that after women became really aware that they had to do something about their drinking, the percentage of women who were sober within 1 year after attending Women for Sobriety meetings was 38%. In contrast, the percentage of women who were sober within 1 year after attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings was 26%.

One of the reasons why AA meetings are so prevalent is the fact that one aspect of their spiritual philosophy is a strong emphasis on service. Specifically, AA members are encouraged to attend meetings for life, and be part of a sponsorship program where experienced members assist beginners.

In contrast, because WFS encourages self-sufficiency, it does not promote lifelong attendance at meetings. Also, although WFS does not have a formal sponsorship program, it encourages an informal support structure among the women. A result of this WFS philosophy of leading women away from dependencies is that meetings are not as widely found with the Women for Sobriety Program as they are with AA.

The Women for Sobriety web site does, however, provide support in the form of on-line meetings, chat, and a bulletin board. They also have a large collection of popular books on recovery as well as their own literature for sale. This contrasts with AA meetings where only AA approved literature is allowed.

I like that WFS permits a wide range of meeting topics. And one of the best aspects of the WFS meeting format is that conversation is encouraged whereas AA has a strict "no cross-talk" rule during meetings.

Another difference between WFS and AA is that one-third of WFS members also attend AA meetings because they need more frequent meetings to stay sober and they like the fellowship and support. Women for Sobriety is open to this approach and, in fact, states that their Program "can be used with or without AA."

AA, however, tends to discourage attendance at alternative programs. This can be seen through some of the wording in the introductory portion of the meeting where it is stated, "rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path," and, later: "many of us thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not."

Power comes from looking forward not back. It is very important for women to have a positive, proactive force supporting them when it comes to quitting drinking. This is different than the AA approach of focusing on negative memories of the past to prevent drinking in the future.

A classic example of this is I have had many women come to my Women for Sobriety group and tell me that after hearing a person's drinking story at an AA speaker meeting, they felt so badly when leaving the meeting that they just wanted to go out and drink. In contrast, many women share with me that they feel positive and hopeful for the future when they get out of our WFS meeting.

If you are curious about learning more about the Women for Sobriety Program, click on the link I've provided below. There you will find some resources that I have put together for you. Some of these resources include:

- Statistics on reasons why women like or dislike WFS and AA
- Specific details about the entire Women for Sobriety Program
- A revealing book describing the AA Program from a woman's perspective
- Why the Women for Sobriety Program may not be for you

AA has been responsible for helping women get and remain sober for many years and I applaud their efforts. However, I spent 3 years in and out of AA at the beginning of my sobriety and I was never able to get my heart into the program.

During that 3 years I purchased and read all the WFS literature and finally engaged the help of a private therapist. When I finally got empowered enough to start a WFS meeting in my area, my ability to stay sober became permanent.

I have been sober for 8 years now. I attribute my continuous sobriety to several things that the WFS Program revealed to me:

- The importance of getting to know myself and the reasons why I drank
- How to develop a lasting positive self-image
- The power was within me to pursue my true interests
- That long-term sobriety is possible with the support of like-minded women in my WFS group

Jeannie Long

About the Author

About the Author Jeannie Long now enjoys 8 years of continuous sobriety. She leads a weekly support group for women using the Women for Sobriety Program. She helps women achieve better physical and mental health through her health related web sites and newsletters. To read about the subjects covered in Jeannie's Commit to Recovery newsletter, click on the following link:

Hair Removal Methods, Remove Facial Hair

Top Hair Removal Methods For Women - Discover The Various Ways To Remove Facial Hair Effectively.

There are many hair removal methods for women to choose from. Some hair removal methods have been around for thousands of years, some are new to the market, some hurt, and some don’t.

Hair removal is tricky, and no hair removal methods or products are perfect for every job, but there are tricks that will remove facial hair in easier and more affordable ways.

Hair Removal Method 1 – Tweezing
Some women choose to tweeze unwanted hairs, but this is not one of the ideal hair removal methods because repeated plucking can cause irritation of the hair follicle. For darker-skinned women, this hair removal method may result in scarring. Also, hair will grow back thicker and stiffer once it's plucked. Hence the aim of removing facial hair for a longer period of time does not work. Unless you have just a few stray hairs that occasionally pop up, avoid tweezing unwanted hair.

Hair Removal Method 2 – Depilatory creams
These cream dissolve hair at the base of the follicle. This hair removal method is ideal for widespread areas like the legs, but can be problematic when used on the face because they irritate the skin and often remove facial hair cleanly. Depilatory creams are relatively inexpensive but results from this hair removal method will last for one to two weeks before you'll need to look at it again.

Hair Removal Method 3 – Waxing
This is one of the most popular hair removal methods. Generally, it's an effective method to remove facial hair on the upper lip and fine hair on the sides of the face. But it's not recommended for the chin area where hair tends to be coarser. Waxing may also be problematic for darker-skinned women. They sometimes experience discoloration due to irritation and inflammation in their attempt to remove facial hair. Depending on the type of hair you have, waxing results should last from two to six weeks.

Hair Removal Method 4 – Laser
Laser hair removal must be done by a licensed professional. It can be expensive and time-consuming, but the results may not be permanent. It is best to discuss with a professional. You can find one by looking in the yellow pages.

Hair Removal Method 5 - Threading
Threading is the ideal facial hair removal alternative to waxing, depilatory creams, tweezing or laser, especially if you have sensitive skin. Unlike other hair removal methods, irritation and skin rashes cab be avoided as the top layer of your skin is not stripped off in the process. Since threading is a completely natural skin removal process, it works on all skin types for a hairless face - whether you have normal skin, sensitive skin, tanned or damaged skin.

About the Author

Visit http://www.threading-hair-removal.comnow to discover the easiest, fastest and effective way to remove unwanted facial hair in 2 minutes!

Shoe Essentials for Ladies & Gentlemen

Both men and women need more than one pair of shoes that works for everything. Ladies and gentlemen need a variety of shoes that are appropriate for various occasions, including work, working out, evenings out, and for casual days. While men probably will not need quite as many shoes as women, both sexes need to be sure that they have the appropriate shoes for every occasion.

Working Out
Whether you enjoy working out on a regular basis, or you occasionally get out to get the metabolism pumping, every person, both men and women need to have the appropriate shoes for working out. Sneakers are great shoes for working out, no matter what activity you are involved in, and you should purchase sneakers that are made for the specific activity that you enjoy the most. If you play basketball most of the time, you may want to get a sneaker specifically designed for playing basketball, or running shoes if you frequently run. For those who make walking part of their daily workout routine, a great pair of walking sneakers can help you make sure that you are walking in both style and comfort.

Work Shoes
Work shoes that you choose will be highly dependent on what kind of job that you do. For men, many times, they work in highly physical jobs that may include heavy work and intense working conditions. For men that work in outdoor jobs like construction, or other jobs that include hard manual labor, you may want to consider purchasing sturdy work boots. If you are purchasing work boots, make sure that they will be comfortable on your feet since you have to wear them all day, and steel toes may be a great option if you are in danger of having something dropped on your feet.

For women, work shoes can be quite a bit different. Some women do work in places that require them to be on their feet a great deal, so, in this case, comfort may be the key. Finding low heeled shoes that look great, but that have great comfort as well is a great idea for women on their feet at work all day. Women that work in a businesslike atmosphere may want to invest in some moderate pumps that go with their business attire and are comfortable as well.

Going Casual
For casual days that do not involve work and have you spending time out as a family or doing some simple shopping, you may want to have a great pair of casual shoes on hand. For men, they can often choose shoes that look classy, or something that has a simple rugged appeal to go with casual clothing. Just make sure that you go for comfort because you may be doing quite a bit of walking in these shoes.

Women have a variety of choices in casual shoes. The most important part about casual shoes for women is that they are comfortable. You want to purchase casual shoes that let you shop until you drop in comfort. If it is warm, a comfortable sandal may be a great choice, and if it is colder, a great leather loafer style shoe may be what you want for those casual days out.

Getting Dressed Up
Both men and women need to have shoes for those occasions for getting all dressed up. Whether you are going to a funeral, a wedding, or just having a classy night out on the town, the right shoes are very important. Men can get away with having just one or two styles of dress shoes. Most men will want to have a pair of both brown and black dress shoes and you will want to choose the style that feels the best on your foot. Usually, dress shoes for men come in both slip-ons and lace ups, so choose the shoe that you are most comfortable with.

The shoes that women choose for dressy occasions can be a bit more difficult to choose. For dressy occasions that are low key, you might want to stick to a pair of pumps that look elegant and classy. If you need to look really dressy, it may be time to bring out high-heeled dress shoes, such as sling backs, or even high-heeled sandals. The type of dress shoe, of course, will depend on the occasion, the time of year, and the style and color of the clothing you are wearing. Usually, having dress shoes in white, navy, brown, and black are absolutely essential to a woman’s wardrobe

With Sincere Pleasure

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About the Author

I have been in the retail shoe business many years and now will try the net. I recently moved to New Mexico from
Oklahoma. I live with my husband of many years. I am a Christian and practice Christian values. The golden rule" Do unto other as as you would want to be treated"
Please give me a try!

Women, Listen Up

Ladies, you have more power than hell over the destiny of a man. The devil knew God was going to make woman. He said, I believe that God is going to make a woman, and if I can fool her, she’s got enough power to take him in. I can’t do it, so I’ve gotta go to something more powerful than hell; and if she uses it wrong, she’ll curse a man, and if she uses it right, she’ll take him up.

There is great power in your walk and grace that God has given you, ladies. You are to be a helper—one called to go alongside man and do something that nobody else can do. A man is to bring a woman to her full potential. And you are to do everything possible for your spouse to make him complete in what God said. I’m not telling you not to have a life. I just want you to know what God gave you.

If anybody needs help now, men need help. If we ever needed you before—not to be in competition with, or to fight with—we need you now. We’re going to prison, committing suicide…can you help a brother with that power you have? With the beauty and the knowledge that you have? Can you understand that part of me is missing? I’m a little crazy and I need somebody that’s got more power than hell.

We’re going back to the basics. In order for us to talk about nations and kingdoms, there has to come a peace within each of us. God is saying, I’m serious about men and women lining up with my word. If you line up, healing, deliverance and favor will automatically come—all of those things God has ordained will happen when order hits.

About the Author

Bishop Eddie L. Long is an acclaimed teacher, entrepreneur, author, and modern day prophet to the nations. He currently serves as Senior Pastor of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Lithonia, Georgia just outside Atlanta. Visit him at or go to